Against the backdrop of ongoing discussions surrounding toxic masculinity, gender equity, and evolving notions of identity; this seminar explores a core psychological dilemma for men: how to connect with and express their emotions without the fear of being judged as effeminate or being seen as less of a man. Findings of extensive research in this area, which led to the Gender Role Strain Paradigm, show that men’s gender roles concerning what constitutes masculinity are socially constructed by forces such as the media, parents, peers, and teachers. Through the process of gender role socialization, boys and men are influenced by societal expectations of what are acceptable and unacceptable masculine attitudes and behaviours. (Pleck, 1995).

In this practical, engaging workshop which will be of interest to therapists across modalities, we will aim to build an affirmative practice for those working with men and those touched by the issues that affect the men in their lives. As we work towards a more equitable and emotionally inclusive society, we will explore restricted emotionality of men, its mental and emotional consequences for them, their loved ones and their relationships, and also delve into effective approaches and tools that help our male clients to open up and connect emotionally.

The psychology of men and masculinities

We explore key models of gender role socialisation and how the dominant ways of demonstrating masculinity and maintaining male privilege in our culture are created.

We explore the importance of power and privilege for men while also acknowledging that these dynamics are often used as a means of disconnecting from others. Sexist assumptions about gender roles increase the occurrence of unequal personal and professional relationships (domestic abuse; sexual harassment and assault in professional settings; violent and controlling beahaviour in intimate relationships).

We will consider the ways these stereotypical behaviours can lead to particular kinds of male unhappiness, poor mental health including anxiety, loneliness, depression and suicide while also having profound negative consequences for men who stray away from these tight-knit traditional stereotypes. Men who try to break free from these stereotypes may get punished through gender-based discrimination and homophobia.

Gender and emotion

Delving deeper into the concept of restricted emotionality in men, we explore the societal, cultural, and historical factors contributing to this phenomenon. Building on the grounding in the psychology of men and masculinities, we explore the influence of gender norms and societal expectations on men’s emotional expression and the impact of traditional masculinity on emotional well-being. We will unpack the key psychological issues of why men hesitate to express their emotions and connect emotionally even in their closest relationships or why men are motivated to block negative emotions. For example, research shows that men equate expressing sadness to being perceived weak. This is a principal factor which influences men to repress their feelings of sadness. We will also examine the key concept of alexithymia where men feel a deep emotional response to a particular event, but they are unable to interpret their own feelings, leaving them unable to express even strong emotions such as grief.

Doing the work

We present a number of a helpful tools and approaches to working with restricted emotionality using clinical case vignettes to bring these approaches to life, including:

• Creating safe and non-judgemental spaces for men to express their emotions
• Psychological education to help men understand and express different emotions
• Ways to help men overcome barriers to emotional expression
• Facilitating the development of effective communication skills for expressing emotions
• Self-care practices and stress management techniques built around men

Open Discussion and Q&A

At the end of each section the seminar will be opened up to a wider discussion with questions from the floor exploring and commenting on the themes arising and highlighting concerns for further study and exploration.

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