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The Dark Mirror: Facing and Healing the Negative Mother

The Dark Mirror: Facing and Healing the Negative Mother

When a mother’s unresolved wounds shape her relationship with her child, the impact can echo through generations. But what happens when this destructive pattern is understood, held with compassion, and ultimately transformed?

These words encapsulate the profound journey of understanding and healing that this training seeks to explore. Motherhood carries the weight of society’s most idealised expectations. Yet, for many mothers, the transition to this role awakens old wounds, unresolved traumas, and unmet needs. These unprocessed experiences can manifest as a negative mother complex, turning maternal instincts into forces of control, detachment, or even destruction.

Times on each day:
6:00 pm – 9:00 pm, London UK

1:00 pm – 4:00 pm, New York, USA

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There is no known commercial support for this programme.

This course does not qualify for CE credits.

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Original price was: £ 149.00.Current price is: £ 129.00.

Quantity:

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Course Credits

CPD: 6 / CE: N/A

Speaker(s)

Brooke Laufer

Course length in hours

6 hrs of video content

Location

Online streaming only

Full course information

At its core, the negative mother complex isn’t about “bad mothers”. It’s about how unacknowledged pain – both personal and intergenerational – creates patterns that undermine and sabotage not only children but mothers themselves. For therapists, these dynamics present unique challenges, requiring an understanding of how maternal trauma influences a mother’s behaviour as well as how its (multi-layered effects ripple into adulthood for her children.)

In a world where “good mothering” is idealised, the realities of maternal ambivalence, guilt, and trauma are rarely discussed. For mothers, these unspoken struggles often lead to profound isolation, their pain manifesting as unconscious behaviours that affect their attachment pattern as well as their children’s development.

In this two-evening webinar, Dr. Brooke Laufer, highly regarded clinician and an expert in maternal mental health, takes a deep dive into the negative mother complex and its psychological impact. From archetypes like the Vampire Mother, Aphrodite Mother to the Too-Good Mother, this training examines how these complexes develop, the clinical presentations therapists encounter, and the pathways to healing for both mothers and their children. Archetypes like the Vampire Mother, representing enmeshment, the Aphrodite Mother, reflecting idealisation, and the Too-Good Mother, masking perfectionism, offer insight into the hidden pain underlying maternal behaviours.

For the children of mothers with negative complexes, the impact can feel like a psychological inheritance:

  • A disorganised sense of self that struggles to reconcile conflicting messages of love, control, and rejection
  • Cycles of self-criticism, dependency, or rebellion rooted in the early relational dynamics with their mother
  • Internalised shame that fuels symptoms like depression, eating disorders, or addictive behaviours
  • A perpetual, internalised voice of the critical or rejecting mother can remain as a continuous, lifelong assault. This internalisation often fuels pervasive symptoms such as eating disorders and addictions.

As therapists, we are uniquely positioned to intervene, helping clients untangle these patterns, whether they are the mother, the child, or both. This training equips you to bring a compassionate lens to these dynamics, guiding clients toward greater understanding, agency, and healing.

Evening One: Understanding the Negative Mother Complex

The first session lays the foundation by exploring the origins and manifestations of negative mother complexes. Dr. Laufer will unpack how maternal trauma intersects with societal expectations, shaping the behaviours and relational patterns that therapists encounter in their work.

Through case examples and discussion, we will examine:

  • What is a negative mother complex? Moving beyond Jungian theory, we’ll explore how trauma, repression, and cultural ideals interact to create these dynamics.
  • How does maternal trauma manifest? From emotional detachment to overbearing control, we’ll delve into the diverse ways these complexes present in therapy.
  • The archetypes of motherhood: We’ll explore well-known archetypes like the Vampire Mother, the Aphrodite Mother, and the Too-Good Mother, showing how these patterns reveal underlying pain.

This session provides the tools to recognise these dynamics in therapy, helping you connect clinical presentations to their deeper roots in maternal experience.

Evening Two: Healing the Complex and Its Legacy

The second session focuses on the therapeutic process, offering practical strategies for working with both mothers and adults shaped by these dynamics. Dr. Laufer will share insights from her 15 years of clinical experience with mothers, highlighting how therapists can navigate the complexities of maternal trauma with empathy and skill.

We will explore:

  • The intergenerational impact: How maternal complexes are passed down and how therapists can help clients break the cycle.
  • Reframing the maternal narrative: Helping mothers and children alike untangle their internalised “scripts” and reclaim a sense of agency.
  • Therapeutic approaches: From attachment repair to grief work, art therapy, and sandtray techniques, we’ll explore creative and relational methods to support healing.

This session will emphasise how therapy can provide a space for clients to make sense of their experiences, express their pain, and move toward integration.

Clinical Challenges and Transformative Possibilities

The negative mother complex is more than a theory – it’s a lived reality for countless clients. Whether working with a mother struggling to reconcile her ambivalence or an adult grappling with the emotional scars of early maternal dynamics, therapists encounter these patterns in diverse and complex ways.

This training will help you:

  • Recognise the subtle and overt ways maternal trauma shapes relational patterns.
  • Understand how children internalise maternal dynamics, leading to symptoms like self-criticism, dependency, or cycles of rebellion.
  • Equip mothers to address their unresolved wounds, breaking destructive cycles and creating healthier dynamics.
  • Use creative and relational techniques to help clients reclaim their authentic selves, whether they are mothers or children of negative complexes.

This course equips you with tools and deeper insights into the relational forces at play in therapy, enabling you to meet these challenges with empathy, insight, and confidence.

Key Takeaways

  • Understand how maternal trauma and societal pressures shape negative mother complexes.
  • Recognise clinical manifestations, from self-criticism and shame to disorganised attachment and intergenerational trauma.
  • Gain practical strategies to work with both mothers and children, focusing on creative and relational techniques.
  • Develop a compassionate approach to addressing these patterns, fostering healing and growth in even the most entrenched cases.

References:

  • Laufer B Uncovering the Act of Maternal Infanticide from a Psychological, Political, and Jungian Perspective, published in 2024 by Routledge
  • Lowinsky, N. (1992). The motherline: Every woman’s journey to find her female roots. J.P. Tarcher
  • Marchiano, L. (2021). Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself. Sounds True.
  • Vesey-McGrew, P. (2014). Passion, Obsession, Depression: Exploring Dynamic Images of the Dark Mother. Lecture given at the C.G. Jung Institute of Chicago. https://jungchicago.org/blog/product/vesey-mcgrew-dark-mother-3gp/
  • Woodman, M. (1985). The pregnant virgin: A process of psychological transformation. Inner City Books.
  • Woodman M and Sieff D (2015) Spiraling through the apocalypse: Facing the death mother to claim our lives. In Sieff D (ed.) Understanding and healing emotional trauma. Routledge, 64-88
  • Woodman M Addiction to Perfection: The Still Unravished Bride: A Psychological Study first published in 1982 by Inner City Books.

© nscience 2024 / 2025

What's included in this course

What you’ll learn

In this two-evening webinar, Dr. Brooke Laufer, highly regarded clinician and an expert in maternal mental health, takes a deep dive into the negative mother complex and its psychological impact. From archetypes like the Vampire Mother, Aphrodite Mother to the Too-Good Mother, this training examines how these complexes develop, the clinical presentations therapists encounter, and the pathways to healing for both mothers and their children. Archetypes like the Vampire Mother, representing enmeshment, the Aphrodite Mother, reflecting idealisation, and the Too-Good Mother, masking perfectionism, offer insight into the hidden pain underlying maternal behaviours.

Learning objectives

  • Understand how maternal trauma and societal pressures shape negative mother complexes.
  • Recognise clinical manifestations, from self-criticism and shame to disorganised attachment and intergenerational trauma.
  • Gain practical strategies to work with both mothers and children, focusing on creative and relational techniques.
  • Develop a compassionate approach to addressing these patterns, fostering healing and growth in even the most entrenched cases.

You'll also be able to...

Develop the ability to interpret and modulate the body’s nervous system (sensory and autonomic) to regulate arousal levels in clients and for safer trauma therapy

Identify and acquire recovery options and strategies for trauma clients inappropriate for trauma memory processing, particularly for those who don’t want to and those who decompensate or dysregulate from memory work

Also develop the ability to interpret and modulate the body’s nervous system (sensory and autonomic) to regulate arousal levels for professional self-care

About the speaker(s)

Brooke Laufer, Psy.D. is an independent scholar, writer, and clinician with a doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. Brooke runs a group practice in Evanston, IL, where she specialises in women’s reproductive health. She has Jungian analytic training and a deep interest in motherhood, perinatal mood disorders, and infanticide. She serves as a forensic evaluator specializing in cases of infanticide and maternal filicide. Brooke works with women who have been incarcerated for infanticide and also runs groups for mothers who have experienced postpartum psychosis. Brooke has been writing and speaking on Medea as the Modern Mother from a clinical and Jungian perspective for the last several years, with the intention of bringing consciousness to the pitfalls of Motherhood. For more information, visit www.drbrookelaufer.com

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