This training examines these hidden dynamics. Rather than shying away from the discomfort of shame, we will invite it into the spotlight. How does narcissistic vulnerability—the therapist’s craving for validation, the desire to appear competent, or the fear of failure—play out in subtle but powerful ways? How does this vulnerability lead to grandiosity, control, or emotional withdrawal, often without conscious awareness? And how, in turn, does this unspoken vulnerability become entwined with the client’s own shame?

In this bold and immersive training, we will challenge some of the most unspoken aspects of therapeutic work:

• How do therapist-client dynamics become an unconscious dance of shame? Explore how the unprocessed shame of both therapist and client can mutually reinforce unhealthy dynamics, entrenching both in patterns of defensiveness and avoidance.
• What happens when therapist shame masquerades as perfectionism or entitlement? How does this need for control subtly emerge in the therapy room, and how does it derail the client’s progress?
• Can we reclaim shame as a source of growth? Instead of fearing shame, can therapists learn to use it as a compass, revealing the deepest blind spots in their practice and paving the way for more authentic therapeutic engagement?

Case Vignette: Consider Sarah (not her real name), a therapist who has always prided herself on being highly competent and in control. Her client, Jack (not his real name), presents with a deep sense of unworthiness masked by perfectionism. As Jack begins to miss sessions, Sarah feels her own sense of competence slip, and unconsciously begins to tighten her grip on the therapy, enforcing stricter boundaries and adopting a more directive, controlling stance. What neither realises is that their shared shame—Sarah’s fear of inadequacy and Jack’s fear of failure—are silently colliding. In this training, you will explore how these mutual vulnerabilities can subtly distort the therapeutic process and learn how to break free from these entanglements.

Through this training, you will confront these dynamics and learn how to disentangle the therapist’s and client’s shame, paving the way for a more authentic, empathetic, and effective therapeutic relationship.

Key Clinical Challenges:

• Narcissistic Vulnerability: Recognise the subtle, often unnoticed ways in which narcissistic defences emerge in the therapist, such as perfectionism, control, or intellectualisation, and how these shape the therapeutic encounter.
• Entanglement of Shame: Understand how therapist and client shame become entwined and explore strategies for unravelling these complex dynamics to restore clarity and connection in the therapy room.
• Therapist as the “Perfect Healer”: Explore how therapists’ unexamined desires to appear competent or omnipotent can trigger narcissistic defences and obstruct the vulnerability needed for genuine therapeutic work.

What You Will Learn:

In this training, you will not only explore the dynamics of narcissistic vulnerability and entangled shame but also gain practical tools to navigate these challenges in your work. Specifically, you will:

• Unmask Narcissistic Defences in Real-Time: Learn to recognise the narcissistic defences triggered by therapist shame, such as perfectionism, control, intellectualisation, and emotional withdrawal. Identify these dynamics as they arise in therapy.
• Distinguish Between Chronic and Healthy Shame: Understand the difference between adaptive and chronic toxic shame, and how these impact both therapist and client. You’ll explore the relationship between shame and hubristic vs. authentic pride.
• Disentangle Therapist and Client Shame: Gain strategies to separate your own shame responses from your client’s, preventing these dynamics from distorting therapeutic outcomes.
• Use Shame as a Therapeutic Tool: Rather than avoiding shame, learn to harness it as a powerful guide for deeper therapeutic work. Understand how shame can reveal blind spots in the therapist’s practice and help clients develop authentic self-acceptance.

Experiential Techniques:

This training offers creative and experiential techniques to identify and release hidden shame, such as:

• Embodiment of Shame: Engage in body-based exercises to physically express and release shame, allowing for deeper emotional insight and healing.
• Nesting Dolls Technique: Use this symbolic exercise to unpeel the layers of shame, helping you identify how narcissistic defences are built up and how to dismantle them.
• Breaking the Silence of Shame: Create a space for therapists to discuss their own shame experiences, cultivating resilience and compassion, while developing shame resilience in both therapist and client. 

Who Should Attend:

This training is designed for therapists, counsellors, clinical supervisors, and mental health professionals ready to explore the hidden dynamics of narcissistic vulnerability and entangled shame. If you are seeking to deepen your emotional resilience, expand your capacity for authentic connection, and break free from unconscious patterns that limit your therapeutic work, this immersive training will provide the tools and insights you need.

© nscience 2024 / 2025