Intimate relationships feature a multi-faceted, complex interplay of dynamics – almost all of which are closely intertwined with adult attachment styles.  These dynamics encompass differing levels of comfort with closeness; the manifestation of intimacy ranging from intense desire to inhibited self-expression; shared and differentiated dreams and goals and apparent attraction to conflict-prone partners – to name just a few. As therapists, if we can delineate adult attachment manifestations across courtship, sexual intimacy, committed relationships and communication in couples; we can better assist our clients in resolving conflict and disharmony in their intimate relationships.

For therapists working with couples whose relationships have turned toxic, as well as victims and perpetrators of intimate partner violence, Dr Gwen Adshead and Gerry Byrne integrate psychological and criminological data with clinical illustrations to examine the complex manifestations and specific causes of toxicity in couple relationships. The course draws on perspectives from Attachment Theory to evaluate the roles played by the individuals involved and examines the addictive nature of these damaging relationships; while demonstrating and explaining mentalisation based therapeutic techniques that we can use, when working with couples.

This video resource pack contains two complete workshops (CPD hours: 8) that cover:

Part 1:

• How attachment security relates to emotional communication in the context of dependency, vulnerability and conflict in intimate relationships
• What does caring mean in the context of adult intimacy, sexuality and eroticism? How does this relate to conflict and disharmony in couple relationships?
• How apparent manifestations of couple conflict including anger, aggression and infidelity may have deeper roots in issues surrounding intimacy and sexuality; issues that couples may avoid explicitly talking about
• How the dynamics of regulated emotions, negative assumptions and threats to self-worth find expression from courtship through to commitment
• The explanatory factors for discomfort with closeness, erotophobia, viewing intimacy as intrusion, superiority and impersonal sex that have roots in Insecure Avoidant attachments
• How Insecure Anxious attachment styles can explain negative assumptions during courtship, assertiveness during sexual intimacy, possessive love, self-fulfilling prophecies in partner communication and continual needs for reassurance
• How, as therapists, we can aim to transform insecure working models to secure models by considering maladaptive consequences of attachment styles and utilisation of empathic sensitivity

Part 2:

• A review of theories that explain how intimate relationships develop in humans; with particular reference to Attachment Theory and the development of mentalisation skills
• The effect of intimate relationships on affect regulation and how this explains linkages between personal and social identities
• The influence of cultural and social stereotypes on how intimacy is conceived and perceived – and how this affects couples
• The addictive force and power of violent relationships – the roles of passion, destructiveness, jealousy and a wish to control one’s partner
• The forces that keep toxic relationships going, with reference to intra-psychic as well as social factors
• How early experiences of disturbed attachments are repeated and re-enacted in toxic relationships

We discuss a typology of violent relationships, looking at the destructive dynamics that maintain these and the unconscious fantasies of security and love that underlie them

Using illustrative case vignettes and discussions, the workshop offers clinical examples of therapy and examines the evidence base for interventions with violent couples, specifically drawing on MBT and psychoanalytic couple therapy.