This video resource pack contains three complete workshops (CPD hours: 11 / CE credits: 11) that cover:

Part 1: Coercive Control, Physical and Sexual Violence in Intimate Relationships: Understanding the Spectrum of Domestic Abuse (Christiane Sanderson, CPD/CE credits: 5)
This workshop, which would be especially relevant for psychotherapists, counsellors and psychologists aims to enhance our comprehension of the spectrum of DA, its impact and long-term effects on survivors. Our goal at this workshop is to examine how, as practitioners, we can work effectively using the principles of the Power Threat Meaning Framework and Trauma Informed Practice, psychoeducation and stabilisation to restore control and to allow for the processing of the DA narrative.

To understand the spectrum of DA, the workshop will look at small, subtle yet incremental forms of coercive and controlling behaviour such as love bombing, gaslighting, thought control, deception, and lying – which are used to distort reality and gain control over the partner, making it hard to legitimise the abuse. The focus will be on the dynamics of coercive, controlling and emotional abuse and how the use of blame, shame and humiliation silences those who are being domestically abused.

The workshop will also explore:

• How these more subtle forms of abuse can precede a range of domestically abusive behaviours with a view to identifying those most at risk of DA
• The processes involved in DA such as grooming victims, the cycle of abuse, the role of dissociation and thought blindness that supports the trauma bond which binds the couple
• The role of attachment and fear of abandonment that underpins much of DA and how this manifests relationally, both for the couple and practitioners working with DA
• The importance of the therapeutic relationship in restoring relational worth, mitigating the de-humanising effects of DA and restoring autonomy and self-agency

By identifying the challenges of working with DA and introducing a range of therapeutic skills, practitioners will feel more equipped when working with survivors of DA and will enhance their comprehension of the transformative effects of post traumatic growth for both clients and ourselves.

Part 2: The Indiscriminate Wrecking Ball: When Infidelity Impacts the Family (Kathleen Mates-Youngman, CPD/CE credits: 3)

While infidelity in a couple relationship can undeniably be experienced as a catastrophic, life-altering event that can cause potentially irreparable losses for the couple involved; it also has wide-ranging repercussions on the dynamics for the whole family, especially where children are involved. There are multiple clinical challenges that can present themselves for psychotherapists and counsellors who work with couples, children and families:

• When a couple goes through an extended period of antagonism, broken trust and / or a contentious divorce, children will likely be strongly impacted – how does this influence their own future relationships? This impact can be markedly different for young and grown-up children
• Children can especially feel an intense level of anger and distrust towards the cheating partner making it difficult for them to accept reconciliations. This distrust can also make it harder for them to accept new partners. Also, they may feel intensely protective towards the ‘wronged’ partner
• Both young and grown-up children can re-direct their hurt and anger at the new partner, making new family dynamics especially difficult to navigate
• In cases where a divorce is inevitable, children withdraw onto themselves and reject all adult ‘interference’ – preferring to live in isolation, making it difficult for therapists to reach out to them
• With the couple expending both time and emotional energy into handling the fallout of infidelity, the focus required on childcare can go missing, inadvertently creating an adverse environment for children. As examples, they may be more vulnerable to grooming by a third party or be subject to bullying at school during this phase
• Parents can sometimes include children as ‘confidantes’ – over-sharing details of the affair or their own intense hurt with children. If a child accidentally finds out about an affair that can have its own challenging ramifications

At this intellectually stimulating and clinically practical seminar, Kathleen draws on her extensive clinical experience to help us, as couple, child & family therapists, to effectively address the challenges listed above. She starts by explaining the different kinds of infidelities: ranging from emotional affairs and revenge affairs to ‘strictly online’ cyber affairs and financial betrayals – explaining how the underlying dynamics influence the eventual impact on families and links these to counselling approaches that we could use. She draws on case examples and the essentials of couple and family therapies to specifically explain:

• Types of affairs and their concomitant impacts:
  • The stages that the couple needs to navigate: Who were we? Who are we? Who might we become?
  • The need to incorporate non-negotiables, the roles of remorse, accountability, transparency and the rebuilding of trust – the individual impacts of these on children and family dynamics
• The systemic impact of infidelity:
  • Addressing the emotional consequences for the child and / or adult child
  • Helping parents cope with the crisis while also supporting their children
  • Impact on romantic relationships for the adult child
• The rebuilding of trust:
  • How this needs to start from the basics: managing identity confusion and emotional overload
  • We specifically consider the role of therapist guidance at this stage and the additional challenges for children involved

Part 3: High Conflict Couples & Emotional Abuse: The Challenges of Couples Therapy (Kathleen Mates-Youngman, CPD/CE credits: 3)

At this interactive and practical semianr, acclaimed couples’ therapist and trainer, Kathleen Mates-Youngman draws on a sociological perspective on relationships, balancing theory, clinical expertise, intuition, EQ and mindfulness to explain the therapeutic models and interventions she incorporates, in her own clinical work with high-conflict couples.

Specifically, we consider:

• Distinguishing between conflict and abuse
• Identifying the traits of couples that conflict with respect
• Therapeutic action plan for working with high functioning couples:
  • Addressing the dance; patterns; themes; assumptions
  • Repairing relationship injuries
  • Strengthening the relationship foundation, and learning new tools
• Defining unhealthy conflict
  • Working with verbal and emotional abuse
  • Predictors of divorce
• Therapeutic action plan when working with high conflict couples:
  • Addressing safety plans and interventions
  • Gathering personal and relationship history
  • Assessing for mood disorders, abuse history, and personality disorders
  • The role of psychoeducation
  • Emotion-Focused Therapy & Schema Therapy to identify, challenge, and create shifts in problematic patterns
  • Mindfulness Therapy to practice emotion-regulation, distress tolerance, empathy, compassion
  • Improving self-esteem and emotional intelligence
  • Creating a healthy relationship pyramid from the bottom up