Sexual grief occurs when people are robbed of their sexuality as a result of trauma. The underlying causes can range from the obvious, such as sexual assault, to more subtle interpersonal trauma, such as being brought up with intrusive guilt-tripping parents, inappropriate sexual grooming, living with someone critical, ridicule after an initial sexual experience and/or the loss of a sexual partner. Often, the way someone is treated following any loss or trauma can also lead to a shutdown of their ability to express sexuality, as the person’s trust and sense of wellbeing is damaged. Consequently, it is crucial that we as therapists reflect upon the close interplay between grief and sexuality experienced by our clients.

The way individuals adapt to manage their sexual grief may offer short-term relief but create further problems for their sense of identity, mental health and relationships. For many of those affected, their bodies carry the burden of their loss so they may come to therapy with clinical manifestations including unexplained or chronic illnesses, loss of sexual desire, and / or an inability to tune in to their body. Such unacknowledged sexual grief affects many of our individual and couple clients who may fail to progress in therapy or relapse if their therapist
fails to address this sensitive interconnection and help clients understand that this is the way bodies grieve.

At this therapeutically oriented webinar, Cate Campbell, the acclaimed author of The Relate Guide to Sex and Intimacy, explores grief through the lens of sexual and somatic therapy. In discussing this common but devastating therapeutic challenge, she focuses particularly on:

• recognition of presenting issues which may reflect someone struggling with sexual grief
• how we can identify and address the exacerbating influence of societal and cultural attitudes and beliefs
• ways to treat sexual grief and recognise when to refer for more specialist therapy
• recognising and acknowledging clients’ grieving patterns and bodily / emotional responses
• helping them make time for the grieving process outside their timetables and agendas
• acknowledging how treatment for sexual dysfunctions and grief may need to happen concurrently
• and overall, how we can help our clients reconnect with the sexual and joyful parts of themselves

The basics of treating sexual grief will be outlined, including how to reconnect someone with their body through sensorimotor activities, as well as how to develop strategies to manage their sexual grief and its consequences. While normalising sexual grief is important, most of those affected are likely to benefit from targeted trauma treatments, including parts work and EMDR, so it will be explained how familiarity with these is helpful in terms of assessing for referral and explaining their value to clients.

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