Such moments—subtle yet charged—reveal the insidious nature of shame embedded in attachment dynamics. Often originating in early relationships where bids for connection were met with rejection, misattunement, or emotional neglect, shame becomes imprinted not only cognitively, but somatically—within the client’s autonomic nervous system. Over time, these embodied traces coalesce into an implicit relational template: If I reveal my authentic self, I will be rejected.

What Happens When Shame Takes the Driver’s Seat?
Contemporary attachment research confirms that early relational disruptions—whether overt or nuanced—form the developmental bedrock of toxic shame. Such ruptures obstruct the formation of secure internal working models, leaving clients prone to interpreting relational difficulties as evidence of intrinsic deficiency. Shame, seen through this lens, is not simply an affective state—it is a complex relational adaptation, designed to protect against the overwhelming pain of anticipated rejection.

For clinicians, shame is among the most elusive and therapeutically resistant dynamics. Clients may present with depressive affect, perfectionism, or interpersonal withdrawal, yet beneath these presentations often lies a visceral terror of relational exposure. When shame-mediated responses are misread—or worse, inadvertently reinforced—therapy itself can become a site of retraumatisation.

Just as crucial, however, is the therapist’s own relationship to shame. Shame does not only reside in the client—it enters the therapeutic space through both participants. When clients’ shame stories touch unresolved shame within the therapist, there is a risk of subtle enactments: distancing, overcompensating, shutting down, or even avoiding difficult material. Developing awareness of therapist shame—and how it interacts with the client’s—can be transformative.

Consider James—a driven professional whose sessions were marked by composure and control. When his therapist gently suggested revisiting a distressing memory, James stiffened. “I’m fine,” he snapped. A rupture had occurred. What was intended as an invitation was experienced as a threat—reigniting James’s buried belief that his emotional needs rendered him inadequate. Rather than risk further humiliation, he withdrew behind sarcasm and detachment.

Beneath his polished exterior, James carried a deeply embedded conviction: To need is to be judged.

When therapists fail to recognise these rupture moments as shame-driven, they may respond with reassurance, interpretation, or silence—each of which can inadvertently confirm the client’s belief that emotional connection is unsafe.

Why This Workshop Matters
This one-day, in-person experiential workshop will equip therapists to recognise, track, and respond to shame-based ruptures as they arise. It also centres the therapist’s own somatic experience of shame, creating space to reflect on how shame is embodied, enacted, and processed within us.

Unlike traditional didactic trainings, this hands-on format prioritises lived experience and embodied learning. Through guided experiential exercises, we explore these dynamics in practice and integrate them into our clinical toolkit. Participants will be invited to adopt a shame lens—an essential stance for identifying shame dynamics as they emerge in subtle and relationally embedded ways—and begin cultivating shame-sensitive practice.

What You Will Learn
Through a blend of case-based exploration and embodied practice, participants will learn to:

🔹 Track the Embodied Markers of Shame and Rupture

• Identify non-verbal cues such as gaze aversion, breath holding, or postural collapse
• Differentiate shame-driven defences (e.g., perfectionism, intellectualisation, sarcasm) from anxiety or resistance

🔹 Navigate Rupture-and-Repair in Real Time

• Recognise subtle relational breaks as they emerge in session
• Employ micro-interventions to regulate shame and restore relational safety
• Practise ‘naming without shaming’—helping clients put words to shame without collapsing

🔹 Strengthen the Therapist’s Somatic Awareness

• Tune into somatic countertransference when shame enters the room
• Use embodied attunement to anchor the client during rupture moments
• Distinguish between the therapist’s own shame and the client’s shame
• Recognise the interplay between client and therapist shame

🔹 Foster Self-Compassion as an Antidote to Shame

• Guide clients in shifting from self-blame to self-acceptance
• Introduce somatic-based techniques for post-rupture soothing and regulation

Experiential Learning: Bringing Theory to Life
This is not simply a theoretical discussion. As an in-person workshop, the day is designed to deepen your clinical confidence through:

Interactive Practice: Engage in small-group role-play exercises that rehearse attuned responses to shame in the therapy room. These will also invite participants to begin adopting a shame lens—learning to recognise shame not as resistance, but as a relational signal that can guide therapeutic repair.

Somatic Reflection: Track and explore your own somatic responses to rupture moments, including moments when the therapist’s own shame is stirred. This embodied self-awareness is the foundation of shame-sensitive practice, allowing us to work more compassionately and effectively with shame dynamics in others.

Clinical Application: Translate insights from case examples and role-play into practical tools for responding to shame-based ruptures in your work with clients.

Meet the Trainer: Christiane Sanderson
Christiane Sanderson is a leading psychotherapist, author, and trauma specialist with over 35 years of experience. Renowned for her pioneering work on the intersection of shame, trauma, and attachment, she has trained thousands of therapists across the UK and beyond. Her approach combines attachment theory, somatic regulation, and relational repair, empowering clinicians to transform shame into relational resilience.

Known for her warm, engaging teaching style, Christiane bridges academic rigour with practical application—ensuring that participants leave not only with insight but with interventions they can immediately use in their practice.

Join Us in London – Reserve Your Spot Today
Shame thrives in secrecy. This immersive, experiential workshop will give you the tools to transform disconnection into repair—helping clients reclaim their capacity for authentic connection.
Spaces are limited for this in-person event—book now to secure your place.

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